Negotiating your way through the holidays isn’t easy. These days everybody has to borrow time
from Peter to spend a little with Paul. If the list of loved ones clamoring for
your Turkey Day attendance is longer than Pinocchio’s nose, take heart. In just
a few simple steps, you can gain control of your holiday cheer:
- First, sketch out what an ideal holiday will look like for you. This way you'll have something to bump it up against when objections surface. It could be as simple as, "this year I want to sleep in, drive fewer than 100 miles and take the kids to see a movie."
- Second, craft your message, one that reassures family members that you love them, but also establishes the reality of life (i.e., kids, fatigue, etc.). If possible work in a few football analogies or famous movie quotes. For example, "I want to attend your dinner more than anything, but I'm holding myself to a short travel schedule. Really mom, I don't have much time. I'm supposed to get down to the school auditorium to direct a Christmas play."
- Third, communicate your plans well in advance. Your family needs time for the news to sink in. Perhaps even announce next year's plans at this year's festivities. Send at least four reminder notes throughout the year with several smiley faces and xoxo's. The sooner you set expectations, the easier it will be for your loved ones to get past that short end of the stick you've asked them to stir the pot with.
- Finally, adhere to your plan. If you cave this year, they'll expect you to cave every year.
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